If you look around at your friends and family — and even at yourself — it is apparent that some people perceive the glass to be half full, while others view it as half empty.
“Some people are just happier than others. They don’t have to work at it, right? They just are,” social psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky recently told CNN Chief Medical Correspondent Dr. Sanjay Gupta on his podcast Chasing Life. “(They’re) kind of like people who are thin naturally, and they don’t have to work hard at it.”
Lyubomirsky, distinguished professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside, has been studying happiness for more than 35 years. She has also written a few books on the topic, including “The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want.”
As an abstract concept that is subjective, happiness is a slippery topic to study: The emotional state is hard to define, let alone measure objectively.
“Happiness has two components,” Lyubomirsky said, noting that you need both aspects to be a “happy” person. “The experience of positive emotions — so people who are happy are more likely to experience fairly frequently like joy, enthusiasm, calm, curiosity, affection, pride — that’s one component. The second component is sort of having a sense that your life is good, that you’re satisfied with your life.”
Researchers measure those components by asking people questions such as “How frequently do you experience joy, calm, curiosity?” and “How satisfied are you with your life?” Some aspects of happiness can be quantified by examining brain structures and facial features and even doing a voice analysis. Rather than having a happiness set point, Lyubomirsky said, individuals have a set range.
A big question for researchers (and many of us) returns to that glass half-full or half-empty issue: Can you change your set range to become a happier person? Lyubomirsky said it’s possible to a certain degree.
“You can’t change your genetics,” she said. She also noted that trying to change circumstances in your life — such as finding a new job or starting a relationship — will only get you so far (assuming you are not in a dire situation).
“And so what do we have left? We can change how we think and how we behave,” she said. “We can change our habits. We can develop new habits.” She and other researchers have observed happy people tend to have certain habits.
Which habits can you adopt to increase your level of happiness? Lyubomirsky has these five tips.
Go with the ‘flow’
Become absorbed in what you do.
“When you’re so fully engaged in what you’re doing that you don’t notice the passage of time, you are in a state called ‘flow,’ which is associated with joy,” Lyubomirsky said via email. “Try to increase the number of flow experiences in your daily life in which you ‘lose’ yourself — experiences that are challenging and absorbing.”
You don’t have to compete in a high-stakes game of tennis or climb Mount Everest, but try something as simple as completing a group project at the office, playing with your children or enjoying a hobby with your partner.
Practice random acts of kindness
Take a moment to do nice things for others throughout your day.
“Being kind to other people brings on a cascade of positive results. It makes you feel generous and capable, leads you to feel grateful about your own situation, and gives you a greater sense of interconnectedness with the world,” Lyubomirsky said.
“It also gives joy to other people and leads them to like you more and reciprocate in your times of need, which, in turn, helps nurture your own self-esteem. Thus, practicing acts of kindness activates what positive psychologists call an ‘upward spiral.’”
These acts of kindness can be directed at friends or strangers; they can be either direct or anonymous, spontaneous or planned, she added.
Not sure what to do? Lyubomirsky has some suggestions: Pay the toll of the car behind you, paint a neighbor’s home, pick up litter in your neighborhood, teach an illiterate adult to read, rescue an animal, visit a nursing home, help a stranger carry a package, do a household chore (even when it’s not your turn), write a thank-you card to your mail carrier or trash collector, or simply smile at someone who is feeling sad.
Nurture your relationships
When it comes to your happiness level, personal relationships have a bigger impact than money, a job title or even your health.
“Spending more quality time with your partner, spouse, or kids, or reconnecting with old friends, are sure-fire ways to increase your own and others’ average levels of joy,” Lyubomirsky said via email. “This week, pick a relationship in need of strengthening, and invest time and energy in healing, cultivating, affirming, and enjoying it.”
This small investment may go a long way.
Express gratitude
Counting your blessings is a great way to take stock of the positive things in your life.
“One way to do this is by taking time during the week to consider the three or five things for which you are currently grateful,” Lyubomirsky said. “This can be done through contemplation when you’re going to sleep at night or during your commute, by writing in a journal, or by sharing your grateful thoughts with a close other.”
Another idea is to call or write a note of appreciation to an important person in your life whom you’ve never properly thanked. “Do this regularly, but not too often, as the exercise may lose its freshness and meaning,” she said.
Expressing gratitude will encourage you to appreciate your good fortune and help get you through the rest of the day or week, Lyubomirsky noted.
Celebrate good news
Sharing successes and accomplishments with others has been linked to elevated joy and well-being.
“So, when you or your spouse or cousin or best friend wins an honor, congratulate them and celebrate,” Lyubomirsky said. “Try to enjoy the occasion to the fullest. Passing on and rejoicing in good news leads you to relish and soak up the present moment, as well as to foster connections with others.”
She said that dynamic should extend to yourself, too: “Don’t shy away from pride — pat yourself on the back, tell yourself how hard you’ve worked for this moment, imagine how impressed people might be.”
And then pop that bottle of champagne or cider.
— CutC by cnn.com
